The most common question you’ll ever be asked, ‘how are you?’. You are asked it so much it’s almost a cliche, it’s lost all meaning. Yet you can use this to change your life!
So often I see the common response of people just repeating how ‘good’ they are. People use this if they are just having an average day, normal day or at worst it might be a terrible day and they’ll say ‘not great’. However this is rare, because it’ll cause a follow up question ‘oh, why?’. Then you’ll have to explain yourself and actually have contact with another human.
People in the daily grind of life no matter what they’re doing say it as almost a common courtesy to pretend to care about someone else’s life or feelings. Yet they’ve always got something else on their mind or somewhere to be.
Next time someone asks you, try and reply with anything else other then ‘good’. I challenge you!
Even better, actually think how you’re feeling and answer the question. Have you had an action packed day, are you tired? nervous for something? excited? or anything. A more positive response will help create a better day. Even replying with ‘Very good!’ you’ll get a more surprised response from the other person and you’ll feel a little brighter inside. It gives your subconscious something positive to focus on.
Subconscious: “Oh, we’re feeling very good all the time. Better make that happen!”
This is such a key interaction and can often shape your day. If you consistently reply with a negative, you’ll subconsciously bring yourself down. So use this, If you’re not having a great day and don’t wish to share AND want to make it better; Stop and breathe, think about all the stuff you’re grateful for (there’s a lot) and reply with something positive. The more you do this the more it will help shape your attitude and make your day.
Personally I usually have periods that I change the answer so I don’t have to think to much about it. Although it’s always positive.
A few examples; When I was studying, and taking a lot of ‘herbal medicine’ my response was usually between ‘chilled’ and ‘very chilled’. When I was doing a lot of work and exercising my response was usually ‘Awesome!’, usually getting a few confused and surprised faces jealous of the internal energy. At the moment I’m preparing for an adventure everything’s going pretty sweet so I just stick to ‘very good’. However I’m getting pretty excited so that’ll probably soon change to ‘Amazing!’.
All the following questions could’ve been made redundant if you just answered the first question
The other half, is the question. Next time you ask instead of bluntly going over the “question, answer, question, answer” business. Actually listen, and ask. Here what they say. If they don’t want to get into it, you can tell them briefly how awesome you are and why. This can help motivate others and see a positive side.
If they do say something other then the 4 lettered door stop. Ask them about it and listen. Don’t think about your response or how that effects you just listen. Don’t go showing of all your ‘proactive listening’ skills, just listen.
People often say in the city it’s hard to make a human connection in the hustle of it all. Or say that they’re sick of ‘small’ talk. This is often due to the fact that no one honestly listen or cares to much about each other.
When you go to smaller towns and everyone seems so friendly usually having genuine answers to the question or actually listening to you. Even just saying ‘hey’ to you as you walk by. It’s not that they’re a nicer person, they’re just in the present moment and don’t have anything worrying their mind.